We all dream about the things we’d love to have or do.  However, due to fear of failure or criticism we can be reluctant to do these things.  Failures shouldn’t be feared for failures are necessary to learn the things we need to know to be able to reach our dreams.  We should think of setbacks as our learning tools to success.  Setbacks teach us what we need to know and do, to get us what we want.  Don’t let setbacks stop you.  Instead see them as learning tools.  If something doesn’t work out, so what!  It doesn’t matter.  Simply learn from them and keep going.   If we didn’t have failures we’d never realise our dreams.

You’ve the choice to stay inconspicuous and safe and do what most people do or become the exciting person you’d like to be.  “But,” I can hear you say, “but what if I try to do what I’d like to do and I fail, and everybody laughs at me?”  Firstly, failure in my mind is staying stuck in same as, same as, when you’re yearning to test your metal and explore, and as far as those who might shun you or laugh at you is concerned, I see these people as too frightened to go outside the norm.  Think a moment of the historical figures and film characters you admire.  Did these figures and characters live their lives following the norm?  Or did they take a few risks and ruffle a few feathers by doing so?

You can choose to stay safe and remain inconspicuous and not experience the wonder of yourself.  Going outside what you know can be frightening and fear is an uncomfortable feeling.  Anyone who moves outside his or her comfort zones will experience some fear, but fear, although uncomfortable, isn’t a bad thing.  Fear energises, stimulates, heightens sensitivity and helps to motivate.  In my opinion there’s only stimulation or stagnation, there’s no in between.  Stimulation excites and heightens the emotions.  It can cause anxiety and fear, but if you’re not being stimulated by life the chances are you’re stagnating and in a state of decay.  Struggling with challenges is stimulating and rewarding.

There are some who say, “I’m not quite ready to live the life I want to live.  I’ll do it, when I feel more comfortable about making a move.”  If you’re one of these people, the chances are extremely high that you’ll never be ready, for one never feels completely comfortable with the idea of moving outside one’s comfort zones.  So if you can’t muster the courage to face the fear of moving into an unchartered realm of experience, you’ll stay stuck in same as same as forever.

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We all dream about the things we’d love to have or do.  However, due to fear of failure or criticism we can be reluctant to do these things.  Failures shouldn’t be feared for failures are necessary to learn the things we need to know to be able to reach our dreams.  We should think of setbacks as our learning tools to success.  Setbacks teach us what we need to know and do, to get us what we want.  Don’t let setbacks stop you.  Instead see them as learning tools.  If something doesn’t work out, so what!  It doesn’t matter.  Simply learn from them and keep going.   If we didn’t have failures, we’d never realise our dreams.

I’ve visited Nursing Homes where aged men and women shuffle around or sit silent in rows, some in wheel chairs, some in lounge chairs, their dull lifeless eyes staring blankly into space and their bodies rigid from inaction.  Don’t let this be you!  Keep your spirit joyous and choose to Live Young!   People who ‘Live Young’ see life as a perpetual adventure.   By looking at life as an adventure, we can’t expect ourselves to be perfect.  If on the other hand, we see the world as set in concrete, we’re more inclined to protect our view of life and blind ourselves to our part in any misadventure.  This sort of protective focus can be a huge obstacle to ‘Living Young’ because it shuts out the opportunity to gain knowledge and understanding from the exciting and sometimes turbulent flow of life.  We all make mistakes and facing one’s mistakes can be scary, but if we don’t face our mistakes, we’ll stay stuck behind a protective invisible wall of our own making as the World moves on.  So accept stark reality, whatever it is and learn from it and move forward.  Staying stuck, in any way shape or form will cause stagnation and disconnection.

There are always well-meaning people ready to tell you how to live your life but you are the only one who can really know what’ll make you happy.  So take time to think about what would make you happy.  Don’t give too much credence to what others tell you.  You’re the only one who knows what’s right for you.  In my years as a psychologist I met many who’d acquired everything they’d been told was right for them and they were left feeling disappointed and disillusioned.  The thing is w As the old saying goes, “One man’s meat is another man’s poison.”

The Wisdom of Age – Janice Lorraine – 18 JUN 2023

At 80 years of age, I look back and see the stupid things I’ve said and done and the stupid decisions I made. But I wonder if I’d known more then, would my life have been as interesting?  It probably would’ve been easier, but would it have been better, and would it have been as exciting and diverse?
As a teenager I thought I could do anything.  Nothing seemed impossible. The world was my ouster and so with all the confidence in the world I married at 23 with all the confidence in the World and it turned out to be a disaster!  The man I married had left school at 15 with no qualifications.  He did however come from a loving family.  The whole thing was over in 23 years, after being informed by him that he had met someone else.  Initially I was devastated but as it turned, his exit turned out to be a wonderful and exciting adventure. It gave me the freedom to explore my individuality and it also opened up a whole new wonderful world for me.

After the initial shock of his departure I began an exciting and wonderful adventure which allowed me to be myself as well as experience life unencumbered.    However, exploring life takes courage, as it might not turn out the way we’d like it too, but the upside is, that with every experience we dare to embrace, we become more and more able to go forward and become more enriched.  So don’t let life pass you by, by pandering to the norm or fixating on the past. Life is there to explore and understand, with all its ups and downs. The alternative is to focus on the past and stagnate. This can only lead to death of the spirit.

Stepping outside the norm can be a frightening experience. It’s not easy to step outside the norm. Things might not go well, and tongues might wag.  People might laugh at you or even vilify you and castigate you and call you stupid.  If this happens to you, take a look at those who call you stupid and ask yourself, “Would you like to be like them!”

Follow your dreams.

The Wisdom of Age – Janice Lorraine – 30 MAY 2023

At 80 years of age, I look back and see the stupid things I said and done and the stupid decisions I made. But I wonder if I’d known more then, would my life have been as interesting? It probably would’ve been easier, but would it have been better, and would it have been as exciting and diverse?

As a teenager I thought I could do anything. Nothing seemed impossible. The world was my ouster and with all the confidence in the world I married at 23 and it turned out to be a disaster! The whole thing was over in 23 years. Initially I was devastated but this disaster turned out to be a wonderful and exciting adventure. It gave me freedom to explore my individuality and it opened up a whole new wonderful world for me.

However, if we choose to live life exploring, it might not always turn out the way we’d like it too, but the upside is, that with every experience we dare to embrace, we become more and more able to go forward and become more enriched. Don’t let life pass you by, by pandering to the norm or fixating the past. Life is there to explore and to understand, with all its ups and downs. The alternative is to focus on the past and stagnate. This can only lead to death of the spirit.

Stepping outside the norm can be a frightening experience. It’s not easy to step outside the norm. Things might not go well, and tongues might wag. People might laugh at you or even vilify you and castigate you and call you stupid. If this happens to you, take a look at those who call you stupid and ask yourself, “Would you like to be like them!”

Go where your heart leads. Live and follow your dreams!

Janice Lorraine Australian Natural Bodybuilder competes internationally at the age of 80 years. 

I Compete Natural (ICN) PRO-AM World Natural Championships
Hotel Hilton Prague, Czech Republic, November 19, 2022

What a wonderful experience I had competing at 80 in Prague at the end of last November!

There were many Spanish and Italian competitors and a smaller group of Australians  I lost count of how many Spanish and Italian competitors had their photos taken with me.  I felt like a celebrity!

The competitors were so excited about an 80-year-old being so strong and in shape.

Although.  I got covid after the event I feel it was worth it for such a magical experience!

Janice at 21 years in 1963

We all have different childhoods, some far better than others.   During our childhoods we learn ways of coping and operating depending on whether we are nurtured and praised or bullied and demonised.  Those who’ve been bullied and demonised often tend to view life less confidently and calmly than those who’ve been nurtured.  “The Misfit” tells the story of a young man who was an only child in a well to do home who was brought up to feel a second class person.  He was given second hand clothes to wear and second hand toys for Xmas.  He was also given square toed rugby boots to play soccer and an imitation soccer ball to train.  He also was also given hand me down board games with pieces missing for Xmas.  “The Misfit” personifies this young man’s reaction, which results in a fight between his current behaviours and a positive force which is attempting to help him find a positive way forward.