Blog
MODIFY DON’T DISCARD
SHAPE YOUR DIET AROUND WHAT YOU USUALLY EAT
There are diets galore around. Many people try this and that diet but don’t stick to it. Some of these diets are quite expensive and some are difficult to sustain. I recommend that you build your new diet around your current eating regime and simply trim and trade using the tools I’ve presented to you in this blog. You’ll be more likely to succeed if you do this. The result would be a gradual positive change and more likely to stay permanent.
Also, sometimes we yearn to be like someone else, possibly a film star, but we don’t picture ourselves being that way. You need to start picturing yourself the way you want to be. If you do this every day your mind will start working automatically to bring you into line with that image. We call this psycho-pictography. Your image of how you want to be will most likely be vague at first, but as time goes by, your image will become clearer and clearer as it continues to develop.
AGONY AND ECSTASY
The world is forever changing. Do not be hypnotised by today’s world. What seems strange today may be commonplace tomorrow or at least commonplace in years to come. So do not let the stereotypical thinking of the day stop you from experiencing life. And do not let fear stop you either. In fact you should congratulate yourself if you are feeling fearful because you are more than likely going forward. When I was boarding the plane in Sydney to fly to Los Angeles for my very first International Competition I was so nervous I was taking in big gulps of air and thinking, “What am I doing? Who do I think I am, going over to compete in the USA?” And when the plane was circling in a holding pattern before landing in LA I remember almost having a panic attack. I was so petrified at the thought of what I was doing.
But I also remember with an elevated heart how wonderful it was being given the title of MS Universe, Grandmaster Division, in a venue in New Mexico which held 5,000 people, with the crowd roaring and my image being beamed live across America. What an exhilarating fairy-tale experience that was!
Here is the good news! After fear comes exhilaration. But the bad news is the only way you can get the exhilaration is to go through the fear in the first place.
All of us are frightened of the unknown. It is normal to be frightened but do not let fear stop you because on the other side of the fear coin is success. Fear is on one side and success on the other. It is a bit like the agony and the ecstasy.
THE GYM FAMILY
I’ve been attending the same gym for almost 20 years now and there are quite a few of us who are regulars, and we’re all getting older. We call our group ‘The Gym Family,’ and we number about 50. We all have a desire to keep fit and strong but I think some of us keep making the effort every Monday, Wednesday and Friday to enjoy the social interaction that ‘The Gym Family provides.
I started the concept of ‘The Gym Family’ years ago. It happened one day when I made a flippant comment to someone, something like, “Don’t let your gym work out interrupt your conversing.” I walked away thinking I’d made a joke only to be told later, “Do you know Janice the only time I have a chance talk to anybody is here.”
Upon hearing this I took it upon myself to introduce people who I learnt had similar interests and it just grew and grew and grew and now we really feel like a gym family. Sometimes as an older person the feeling of belonging can be missing. We all need to feel we belong and our Gym Family provides a warm and wonderful sense of belonging.
We have eight people now who are over 80 and I’d like to tell you about one of them who at the moment is very ill indeed but comes to the gym every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. This gym member is 85 years old. He always works hard and works out for three hours. He now has leukaemia, various melanomas which keep popping up and a hip joint which is now bone on bone. He’s due to have a hip replacement but can’t because, just when he was to have the operation another melanoma appeared which meant chemo-therapy and a further delay. With all that is happening he still comes to the gym. Now he needs a walking stick to help him get around while he waits until he can have the operation. On the bright side, because of his weight resistant training, his bone density is excellent. To me this man is the epitome of courage and commitment to exercise.
USING GYM MACHINES
I see so many people at the gym using machines in an unproductive and often dangerous manner. The machines at the gym are designed for specific purposes. Make sure you know what each machine is designed to do and, very importantly how to use it properly. Consult a qualified person to find out how to correctly use any gym machine so you can get the most from it. I’ve seen people injure themselves using gym machines in such a way they achieve nothing, or in such a way the machine is in jeopardy of being broken. Here a few tips when you are working out at the gym.
Slow reps, focusing on and engaging, the particular muscle to be worked, works best. Isolate the particular muscle you are working on and make sure that another part of your body is not engaged in the process. As an example think of how you work your biceps and ask yourself, do I also engage my back?
Also make sure that both your limbs are doing their fair share of the work. Often one arm or leg will decide to let the other limb do all the work. I have to be vigilant on the pull up machine to make sure my left arm is not letting my right arm do most of the work. Thankfully my neck gives me a sharp warning if my left arm is getting slack because my neck will start to hurt on the right side. So watch the distribution of effort from both the left and right on all machines that require left and right to work in unison. Of course if you want to strengthen one or the other side it is quite in order for you to work one side more than the other. As a rule of thumb, try to select machines that are better and isolating the muscle you wish to work and also ones that don’t allow one side to compensate for the other.
Heavy weights and fast reps, usually done to impress, often result in injuries. Sometimes the injuries incurred this way can have you carrying an injury or a body weakness for life. If you sustain an injury I recommend that you consult an exercise physiologist. Exercise physiologists study physiology and exercise and so can organise an appropriate, safe exercise regime for you that can strengthen your body and allow you to keep working out safely and productively.
Also make use of the negative part of a repetition. For instance when you push up on the bench press try lowering the bar slowly and feel the positive impact on your body.
When you do your triceps make sure your elbows stay pressed into your sides. I’ve seen so many people lift their elbows up near their chest when using a triceps machine.
When using a leg press push up through your heels.
If you are going to make the effort to go to the gym and work out why not get the best results you can?
SELF IMAGE (CONT)
We all get excited about becoming exactly the way we want to be, but most of us rarely think about how our lives might change as we change. As you are now, you can pretty much predict how people are going to react towards you, and you can largely predict what your life will be, but when you begin to change, life might not be as predictable. People, who know and love you, know you a certain way. They feel comfortable in your presence the way you are, but when you start to change they might not feel as comfortable with you as they once did, and they might try in various ways (often subtle, sometimes clandestine) to discourage you from following the path of your ideal self. Often your friends will change as you change. This is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact it can be exciting and rewarding. On the other hand staying stuck to please other people is never a good thing. The following is an example of someone who didn’t have the courage to become the person she wanted to be.
It was some 25 years ago when I was a relatively new psychologist and didn’t know as much as I know now about the power of the self-image. The client was a female aged 43. She felt inadequate, powerless and overlooked and she wanted to improve her confidence, assertiveness and popularity. I made her an individually tailored positive power audio tape, which she was to listen to daily. She did this, and her life started changing for the better. Then one day she came to see me looking forlorn and sad.
“I can’t listen to my tape anymore,” she said, looking up at me, pale and tense. “Why?” I asked. Her eyes lowered and tears heavy and wet started dripping down her cheeks, “Because, if I keep listening to my tape I won’t be daddy’s little girl anymore.” I was shocked. She had made great gains and was in the process of unravelling the maze which had kept her powerless all her life, and suddenly, out of the blue, she had decided to abort all her fine efforts to change herself, and slip back into the nightmare world of self-doubt from whence she came.
She had chosen to run back to the safety of the persona of the little girl daddy loved. The unpredictability factor inherent in the magnificent turbulence of change was too much for her.
Striving to become the person you want to be is often scary, but it is always good. Don’t ever give up!
SELF IMAGE
It is important to make sure your self-image is in line with your endeavours. For instance if you’re striving to emulate someone or some image you need to be able to feel comfortable being like the person or the image you want to emulate. If what you are trying to achieve is very different from your idea of self, you will need to work on your self-image. Any achievement that is incongruent with one’s self-image is doomed to fail and sadly after only a relatively short amount of time. That’s a very big reason why so many people start and stop in their efforts to make positive changes. People whose self-image is not in synch with what they are trying to achieve can be seen engaging this and that diet and this and that so called amazing exercise regime, only to find they are on yo-yo treadmill of up and down.
There is a very good way to bring one’s self-image in line with how you want to be, and that is by visualising yourself every day being exactly the way you want to be, like the shape you want to have, the vigour and vitality you would like, the clothes and hairstyle you would like to wear and so on. At first it will be difficult to visualise yourself the way you want to be because usually we haven’t really worked out the specific details of how we want to be. At first the image will most probably be fuzzy but it will become clearer and clearer the more you focus on how you want to be.
As you keep visualising how you want to be, you will start feeling more and more comfortable with your new idea of self, so when your mind presents the pathway to that vision, and it will, you will be able to walk that pathway and be comfortable being the new self you have created.
But if you get to be the way you want to be and you still see yourself the way you were, you won’t be able to sustain it. You’ll go back to where you were on the never ending yo-yo of up and down. (More to come re the reasons we fear going forward)
+ OR – FOCUS
Sadly many of us cast aside the joys of our own lives and chose to direct our focus onto what we do not have, or what we imagine we have lost. This style of focus only perpetuates unhappiness and stops us from going forward. Happiness has everything to do with how we focus our thoughts. People who focus on positive thoughts will attract positive experiences to them and people who focus on negative thoughts will draw negative experiences to them. I have heard hundreds of times people say, “You just can’t win. It’s alright for you. I’ll never be able to do anything.”
People who continually entertain this type of thinking are locked inside a negative thought prison. They can be seen dragging themselves along the street steeped in the thoughts that are keeping them exactly where they are.
On the other hand those who focus on positive thoughts, can be seen bounding along the road with smiles on their faces even when things aren’t going well. Positive people are always looking for ways to win. They are always seeking out the positive in whatever faces them.
You are the only person who can decide what your focus will be. If you choose to focus on the positive you will go forward and become stronger. If you choose to focus on the negative you will be weakened and your life will go no where. It doesn’t matter how horrible someone may have been to you. While ever you focus on them and what they may have done, you are going no where. In fact you are given the perpetrator or incident of your unhappiness more power over your life. So focus on where you want to go and on what you want to achieve and go from strength to strength. If you choose to focus on positive thoughts the way ahead will open before you, as if by magic!
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
COMMENTS PLEASE
This cartoon aroused quite a few thoughts and feelings in me in relation to how the female species is viewed and I’d like to know your reaction to it.
NEW YEARS MESSAGE
We all get upset with our friends sometimes but we are largely compassionate towards them. On the whole, we look at the overall positives of who they are. We need to do the same for ourselves. None of us is perfect and yet all of us unrealistically seem to expect that we be perfect.
Yet why would we want to be perfect when it is our imperfections that create our special charisma. After all a photocopy machine can produce perfect copies. Why would we want to be as boring as a photocopying machine?
So from now on try to be your own best friend. Start celebrating your efforts as you move courageously and imperfectly forward towards realising your dreams. It takes real courage to move courageously and imperfectly forward and you should feel pride in every imperfect and courageous step you take along the road to achieving the life you want to live. Dream, live and be and a Happy New Year to all!
Xmas Message
My Xmas message to you is: No matter how dark things might seem, always believe in the possibility of happiness and the magic of you.
Have a very happy Xmas everyone and remember, always believe in the possibility of happiness and the magic of you.
Every Best Wish To You All
Janice