The notion of an ideal marriage springs from fairy tales. Can you imagine Cinderella and Prince Charming having ding dong argument?
In fairy tales marriages are supposed to be happy all the time. The thing is happiness is not a permanent state. It is a transient state. It comes and it goes, here one moment, gone the next. No relationship can be happy all the time, but it can be strong.
In relationships where the couples feel the marriage must be happy all the time, disagreements tend to be avoided, and so the two people don’t get to really know each other. They simply avoid talking about anything controversial.
Far better than a happy relationship is a strong relationship where you really get to know each other and work through whatever there is to work through.
A strong relationship is one with substance, one that allows you to really get to know each other warts and all.
A strong relationship is one that you can count on.
Strong relationships are sometimes happy, sometimes volatile, sometimes sad but always real. They are warts and all relationships.
It’s always so inspiring to read what you have to say, Janice. Just this evening, instead of snacking after an early dinner, after having returned from a social function, I decided to take a walk instead. To my happy surprise, my husband got off his LifeCycle (on which he had just started exercising after a long day’s work) and decided to join me. As we were walking, we were conversing, and I was noticing how (it seems to me, anyway) that he is always contradicting or opposing what I’m saying. Not agreeing is just par for the course. In light of what you wrote, I’d say we definitely have a strong relationship, in that we certainly feel free to disagree and to express that. It never occurred to me what a positive attribute this is, till I read what you wrote, since I generally cannot even imagine a relationship in which one would “always go along” with the other, just for appearances! Thanks again for your insight.